Wednesday, June 17, 2009

i've never told anyone before

It's funny when someone says "I've never told this to anyone before," like it means something.

It doesn't, really. I mean, do you often have the same conversations over and over and over? I should think not. Usually, when you are talking to someone, you are saying whatever you are saying for the first time, even if you have discussed the topic previously, or if you have thought about it before. You are changing and evolving all the time, of course, and everything you say, you are usually saying it for the first time. Most things you tell people you have never told anyone before. That is what conversation is--saying new things based on other people's reactions and statements and the current situation. Most conversations that you will have, you have never had them before.

So it's not significant. Not at all. It doesn't mean anything when you are with someone, say on a date or having one of those 'special conversations', and you suddenly realize, or more likely, they suddenly say that they've "never told this to anyone before." of course you haven't, are you boring? are you one of those lame people who say the exact pre-fab statements and conversations to everyone? No. Probably not. It's not a significant conversation for it's uniqueness at all. Most of your conversations are unique.

So yes, "i've never said this to anyone before" is always, always a just a line, whether it's meant that way exactly or not--because you really could say that to any person, anytime, and it's meaningless in and of its self.

But it may be significant because the fact that you are registering that you've 'never said this to anyone,' or they haven't, this clearly shows that there is some kind of heightened conversational awareness going on. If the vast majority of the things you say, you have never said them before to anyone, and that hardly registers at all on your mental radar, when it does register that you are saying something new, something that you've never said before....well, the registering of this notion says more than the actual event.

Discuss.

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